I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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