So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
