Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
