And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
