Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
