Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
