Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
