'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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