just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
