I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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