it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
