Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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