Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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