Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
