Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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