Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
