i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
As shirtless as possible
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
