thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
