You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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