does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
