Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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