yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
