I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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