At least make sure they are 18
Why
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Of course I have a pirate flag
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
