who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize