Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
