is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
The uberlube is also flammable
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
