Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
