I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
