i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
