it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize