super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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