Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize