Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I think people are normalizing furries
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
