It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize