Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
