Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
