she was so not down for the gang bang
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
