Already got asked if we're dating
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
