Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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