you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
