2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
