Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
