There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I want her autograph on my taint
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
