I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
