You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
