come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
