Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
