Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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