Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
