we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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