i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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