$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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