Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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