glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
