I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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