Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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